As we mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, you're
beliefs determine your thoughts. The latter determines them
turn your actions and therefore your effect on your environment, which ends
by reacting to you again. This is how you form your
reality. Subconsciously, you are always looking for confirmation of your
beliefs. If they are negative in nature, they will become more and more entrenched
deeper into you throughout your life, for you will live
endlessly the same negative experiences associated with your beliefs
negative. Accordingly, they will be confirmed and will become
well anchored. We can also talk here about the auto prophecy-
director.
Imagine that you have been unexpectedly fired by
your employer. On the one hand, you may now think that you
are simply not good enough and have therefore been dismissed under a
any pretext. You are contrite, ashamed and afraid that your
entourage thinks you're a dud. If you are now trying to
applying for a new job, it will be rather slow because you
present with little self-confidence and you end up lowering
your criteria for a new job - the main thing is that you find it
one way or another. In the end, because of your beliefs
negatively, you may end up in a job that you don't
would certainly not consider as the one of your dreams and which, in
in the worst case, you will earn less than your previous job.
On the other hand, you can see the bright side of things. You have
may have been fired. But this does not mean that you are not good
and you are not a valuable employee. The most likely is that the company
is currently in a bad position and that she unfortunately had to
cutting jobs for this reason. In no case is it yours
fault. And this situation may eventually be an opportunity for
you! Now you have the opportunity to get a job again
better and better paid. Anyway, you will soon find
a good position. Instead of being ashamed of your resignation, be proactive
and reach out to your social and professional circles. Thanks to your
contacts, get advice on job offers and ask your
applications with confidence and assurance. Instead of putting yourself in
anger, you should use this situation to your advantage! You
will soon be able to sign the employment contract for your new and
good job.
In these two cases, it appears that your beliefs influence you
thought and therefore your actions. This confirms such beliefs as
a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So it is extremely useful to replace your negative beliefs
by positive beliefs. You will have to show a lot of
patience, self-discipline, willpower and critical thinking, but this in
definitely worth it!
How you can use the phenomenon of the
self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself
These previous examples show how high your expectations
influence the actual results. You can take advantage of these
As you now know, the phenomenon of prophecy
self-realization works without much effort. If you believe in yourself
ability to achieve something, you increase your chances of doing it
do. On the other hand, if you are so afraid of a "catastrophe",
you attract him. In both cases, you behave according to
your expectations and your environment react to them. So you can
decide on the attitude to adopt in the face of a given situation.
Of course, it is a challenge to always believe in your own abilities and
in the achievement of its objectives. It is perfectly human to
start to doubt yourself from time to time. You will find here-
below are some tips on how to set expectations
positive and believes in it.
"It's good and important to have dreams. Hold on to
your dreams and desires and do not stop working for the
but also don't limit yourself to the successes that you have
already obtained, think big!
+ Ask yourself questions to help you formulate and
manifest your positive expectations. These questions could
be, for example :
o What do I want to achieve in the first place?
o What does my goal mean to me?
o What would I be willing to give for that?
° Always keep your goal in mind. If you have your
goal in mind, it will give you the motivation you need
need to act For example, if you constantly imagine
the way to go to reach it and the number of steps
additional steps to take, this can have a demotivating effect
about you. You lose sight of the goal and don't focus
only about the obstacles that stand in your way.
+ Be clear about what your end goal should look like.
For example, imagine that your goal is to make a cake.
You can't search for a recipe or buy
ingredients to prepare it as long as you don't know which
type of cake you want to make in the first place.
+ Take action! If you want to achieve something in
your life, you have to act There are always people who prefer
complaining about what is not going the way they want in
your life rather than acting. However, this does not lead anywhere.
Do not wait for the fulfillment of your desire to fly to
you one day: take it in hand!
+ Stay optimistic. The operation of self-prophecy-
director cannot be prevented if you maintain your
Success can be blocked by wishful thinking
However, like the law of attraction, positive expectations
can also have the opposite effect of the prophecy
self-fulfilling. This effect occurs when wishful thinking
begin to get in the way of your goals. This theory, of which the
results are described below, is suggested by a study conducted
by psychologists Heather Kappes (New York University) and
Gabriele Oettingen (University of Hamburg).
The results of this study revealed that, for example, the result
from an examination can be negatively affected by positive fantasies.
This comes from the fact that too little effort is being made due to the
positive expectations. There is less energy left to take action if
all the energy is put into anticipation - as if the goal was
already achieved.
So even with the self-fulfilling prophecy, it depends on the
correct dose. Approach your challenges with a positive and full attitude
expectations. However, before you have actually achieved your goal,
you must not rest on your achievements.
"We are what we think. All that we are
follows from our thoughts. With our thoughts, we shape the world. »
Getting out of the vicious circle of the mental merry-go-round
People prone to the so-called "rumination" suffer
to keep repeating the same questions in their thoughts without
to be able to reach a conclusion. In fact, women have a more
great tendency to rumination than men. This pattern of thinking
which consists of ruminating incessantly has serious long-term consequences
term. This "carousel of thoughts" keeps in these states
undesirable people who are already prone to depressive moods. It
even happens that some people, contrary to their
intentions, can no longer express their emotions in a healthy way.
Typical questions are, for example, "What if..? », « How
could this have happened? ", "Why me? ", "What do others think of
me? ».
Although you can never completely stop your
thoughts, there are things you can do to slow them down, the
reduce and turn them into positive thoughts. The thought itself
is also not the problem, because that's what our brain is for
fact. It becomes problematic and excessively stressful when there
has too many different thoughts at the same time, when your thoughts don't
revolve only around negative topics and when they move from a topic
on the other too quickly. Grinding black consumes your body and your
spirit.
How the mental merry-go-round gets started
To free yourself from a negative thought loop, you need to
first understand how you got into it. There are people who have
tend to get lost in their circular thoughts more than others.
According to the researchers, some personality traits are surprising
common to people prone to this kind of thinking pattern. It
these are, for example, perfectionists or neurotics, but also
people who are too, almost excessively, focused on
their relationships with others. When problems arise,
our mind wants to be there immediately with solutions and
communicates with us through our thoughts so that we
may we manage in the world. In the long run, however, and
en masse, these well-intentioned tips become a burden.
This habit of rumination can have consequences
important for the people concerned. Unlike those who
think according to the problems and focus on a
solution, people prone to rumination have few opportunities
to use their thoughts productively. Once caught in the
spiral of thought, they have a propensity for self-criticism
excessive and thoughtless. These negative thought patterns exert a
huge stress, because people who grind black release a lot
more cortisol, the stress hormone. In the long run, this can make the
affected people sick and unable to work exhaustion.
This is a classic example of a stress-related illness.
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